Jerry
Jerry is a Hearth Member of the Eden Invitation Community.
This piece is called "Litany of His Pierced Side" (a Prayer)
Jerry shares: "This prayer comes from my own experience of trying to understand myself before God without letting shame become the interpreter of my life.
I have often found that self-knowledge can become distorted when it is separated from mercy. The more I try to see myself apart from Christ, the more easily I turn to accusation. As a Catholic, I am especially drawn to the pierced side of Christ because it holds together judgment and mercy, truth and love, exposure and refuge. It is a place where nothing is hidden, but nothing beloved is destroyed.
In relation to LGBTQ+ experience, I would simply say that questions of body, desire, identity, shame, and belonging have made this theme very concrete for me. This work is not an argument or a declaration so much as a prayer: that every part of the self, including the parts most burdened by fear or confusion, would be brought into the wound of Christ and seen there in truth, mercy, and love."
"This is a litany asking Christ to purify the eyes of the heart, so that self-knowledge happens only through the mercy flowing from His pierced side.
The central image is the pierced side of Christ. In John's Gospel, when the soldier pierces Jesus' side, blood and water flow out.
I cannot see myself rightly by looking at myself apart from Christ. When I look at myself through shame, I distort the truth. When I look at myself through fear, I distort the truth. When I look at myself through accusation, or through the eyes of those who wounded me, I distort the truth. Every lens that does not pass through His mercy will eventually lie to me, either crushing me with what it sees or flattering me past what I need to face.
But when I place the eyes of my heart against the pierced side of Christ, His blood and water purify the sight by which I receive the world and myself. This prayer is asking Christ for the grace to know myself (and the world) only through his pierced side and from within His mercy."
Litany of His Pierced Side
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.
Christ, Son of the living God,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, pierced for our transgressions,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, opened upon the Cross,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, from whose side flowed blood and water,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, whose wound is the gate of mercy,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, whose Heart was opened for sinners,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, whose Blood speaks louder than my shame,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, whose water cleanses what fear has clouded,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, light in the darkness,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, mirror without accusation,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, Truth without cruelty,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Christ, Mercy without illusion,
purify the eyes of my heart.
Place the eyes of my heart against Your pierced side,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Let Your Blood pass over my memories,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Let Your water wash the film from my soul,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my sin within Your mercy,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my wounds within Your wounds,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my story within Your Passion,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my body as one You came to redeem,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my desire under Your lordship,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my strength without pride,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my past without being imprisoned by it,
Jesus, teach me to see.
Help me to see my Vocation without fear,
Jesus, teach me to see.
That I may no longer examine myself outside Your mercy,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may no longer confuse self-knowledge with self-condemnation,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may know myself only in the light of Your pierced Heart,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may receive the truth without fleeing,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may repent without despair,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may be humbled without being crushed,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may be exposed without being destroyed,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
That I may see as one washed in Your Blood and Water,
grant me this grace, O Lord.
Amen.