If I'm honest, I hate it when I share something emotional with someone, and their immediate response is, “I know how you feel.” I get what they’re trying to say, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If you’re reading this: I don’t know how you feel. I don’t have any clue about the vast majority of people who will read this. You might love your life. You might be a day away from ending your life. I can only know what I have been through and what I feel. If you’re strug

It was my freshman year of college. I enjoyed newfound freedom, which mostly consisted of late-night trips to Steak & Shake with my new circle of friends. On the surface, my new life in university was flourishing, but in the depths of my soul, I sensed something integral to my well-being was muted, or missing. My growing sense of this lack followed a series of heartbreaks in my teenage years. At the time, I wouldn’t have told you that I had been in love. I never had a boyfrie

I remember sitting there on the dirty concrete floor of my dad’s workshop. The cold and damp cement had caused those moldy old porno magazines my dad kept there to have a dusty feeling and a stale smell of mildew. I had stumbled upon that sinful stash; a tangible mark of my dad’s struggle that would, in time, become my own. I think I was probably about 4 or 5 years old and I knew shame in that moment. From that early exposure to a reality of sin far beyond my tender age, I kn

I was sitting on the chapel floor, staring at the tabernacle, in tears. I was supposed to be happy. That was the promise, right? If I followed Christ and the teachings of His Church, then I was supposed to find joy, freedom, fulfilment…but I was so unhappy. I thought of my non-Catholic queer friends who were so full of laughter, and I couldn’t square my experience of them with how I thought I was supposed to feel. In my anger with God, I finally broke down and told Him all th

The Adirondack Mountains are most beautiful in fall. I once heard the season explained as “God showing off." The tension and dynamism of the natural world during this time of year forces me to face my humanity, and there is a tendency to lose myself in the color and the spirit of this swansong to the green and life. In fall, I feel deeply my inner self and the inescapable reality that everything that lives must die in order to come back to new life. I was raised in these moun